The Bonds That Are Us: It’s A Choice

It goes without saying that if there is one thing I am known for… or the reason I started this Blog… or the one thing I believe in… is Love!

I know that even I can feel or should I say sound like a gramophone…Love Love Love Love Love… One would think I would have given up on it now right? Well I wouldn’t be writing this Blog if I had given up on Love.

So I wonder… they say the following: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says..

If you read the Bible Verse of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 it’s basically a guideline to Love and what we should or shouldn’t do in order for it to be perfect. It somehow almost feels like the 10 Commandments but this is of Love. I think reading it we can all agree how dismally we have failed in being the perfect example of what Love should be.

So when I re-read them I realised that it’s not a guideline or maybe it is but its not a set of rules. It is a view of what Love should be about and almost how forgiving Love can be.

Breaking the verse down you can immediately see the flaws in ourselves and how we perceive Love. Or in a more gentle manner how society has pushed us in the direction of how Love is perceived. For instance that saying, you not in a relationship until Facebook says so… then if you look at the list the one that I always wonder about is “it’s complicated”. What is complicated? that makes no sense. You’re either in a relationship or not, and Facebook gives you so many options of what type of relationship you in, why choose “it’s complicated”.

My status shows nothing because when you in a relationship or engaged or married or or or that states to the world you are unavailable then that’s exactly what you are. Single is single and I have to say Facebook has been very unfavourable when I was Single and shouting it out to the world just opened the doorway to every singleton or chancer contacting me. Each to their own of course, but I personally do not like it. So there we have boasting or being proud when you advertising you in a relationship…

Of course we want to advertise to the world or our social media friends and family that we in relationship so what’s the difference in announcing it on that platform for all to see. Our world has become a paradox of instant messaging and a view to our lives with one click of a button. The old days family’s were notified by post or newspaper announcements, of upcoming betrothals and that is after one introduction commonly pre arranged by the family.

That was yesteryear and we definitely have moved at full force with the internet times, where intros and getting to know each other was done over instant messenger or subtle likes and emoji comments on your page. It is life it is happening and we all on board the web train… so coming back to my point how can we not boast or be proud?

I do feel that we are obviously so delighted with our relationship that of course we want to shout it out to the world, and why not. I mean through the years you hear stories and songs and even little sayings of proclamation of love is shouting from the roof tops for the world to hear. So now? Shouting from the rooftops might be constituted as slightly insane but this is what I imagine they did before the World Wide Web caught up.

So now we shout it from our Facebook page or whatever means of social media we use to connect with our friends and family. I mean can you imagine the cell phone bill if we had to call each and everyone so its easier with Social Media. Not that anyone really cares but it’s a proclamation of Love in our society and it’s something that we do and proud of it.

Again we boasting and showing pride in it… I could go on and on about this for a lifetime but If you read it and understand it then looking at it from a Black and White point of view well it just seems like we all have failed.

For me the points of Love is Kind and Love is Patient that for me is the most important… Those two descriptions of what Love is, I can absolutely agree. So forget the Boast and Pride and just focus on Kind and Patient.

Kind: is not kindness a attribute of a loving heart? Something that cannot be forced but so natural and direct from the heart that you either are or you aren’t. You either love or you don’t love. I personally feel we all are kind we all have love in our hearts that without trying encourages us to be kind. Some might say there is no more kindness in the world but I disagree. Yes life has become a complicated strategy of right and wrong, good and evil etc. but no matter what we all, in our hearts, are kind. In some way or another, in whatever part of life we were or are we at some point were kind or are kind. So that for me is a given. What we do with that kindness is another story because in the end we choose to be kind. Now for me messing with a person’s heart is the absolute be all end all of karma. Here is this gift God bestowed upon us, he gave his only begotten Son, a huge testament of Love to us. Yet we have used and abused the Kindness in Love… and with that comes the Truth and Honesty aspect of the verse.

If we are truthful and honest and not by destroying each other with hurtful words but how we really feel, or that our intentions are pure etc. etc. then that is a kindness on its own. My question is if you love someone and you planning to spend your life with them, how can you not be truthful and honest?

No wonder we boasting about our relationships because there is so many breakups and divorces and cheating and lies that a relationship gives us hope.

I always think of Adam and Eve and the apple.. I mean lead us not into temptation, yet we all guilty of it. A flirt here a message there an interaction that could lead to cheating and that thought or want or need or crave or whatever is so beyond the act of kindness that you wonder how you could possibly love that person.

I think I understand what God means in that verse… don’t boast or brag about your relationship because it is a sacred bond between two people who love each other. We all know how outside influences can poke and prod and just cause a rift in our state of euphoria. Sadly it is just like that and it happens and more often than you would like to imagine.

I just wonder what does love mean to us all? If we truly loved there would be no strife or hurt or anger… Can I be so bold to say maybe world peace ?

I think the verse is if you read it trying to advise us in a very outdated way that these are the things that could make or break a relationship, and is it wrong? Yes in our society of social media it can be difficult but honestly those words of Biblical wisdom do have a point and if you read them and maybe understand them no matter how you fit them into our world they absolutely mean the same thing.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Just reading these words we have failed so dismally at trying to Love and be Loved… and yet if we just acknowledged the guidelines and followed them we wouldn’t possibly have the turmoil of relationships.

Without those words, I mean if you didn’t know them or hadn’t read them our basic understanding and the wanting for ourself, never mind our partners wants but what we want would follow in the same light as the verse from the Bible. We would not want to be treated in a manner where there is no care, trust, respect, or basic human emotions that are naturally about love and kindness. I do understand that trauma can affect an outlook on life or feelings towards people but there again we still deep down have the ability to heal, to work through it, no matter how long it takes but we can heal. It’s a very broad statement I am making but through life experiences I have lived through and they only my experiences there is a way, there is a choice and through the love and kindness of people around us we can heal. Like I said it’s a broad statement.

I think in the end we have to self care and more so than ever. We have to honestly take a look at ourselves and what’s in our hearts and ask ourselves if we are living our life in the best way possible without causing afflictions or hurt or pain for people in our lives. If we can just focus on ourselves in making the right choices to the best of our ability then we already making a massive impact in how we live this life and the life we share with others.

I once read this passage, or post or story – not sure where I read it now but it says. If we as individuals can worry about our own actions and that we are living our daily lives in the right, positive and Godly way then we won’t have to worry about anyone else. Imagine that, especially in a relationship, we so worried what our partner is doing and we allow fear to take control and we accuse and we fight and we destroy the love and trust we have built, and yet if we just focused on ourselves making the right choices we wouldn’t have those fears or mistrust.

I been there and done that and bought the T-Shirt and it’s definitely a downward spiral of chaos between two people.

So if we follow the guidelines of the that verse then maybe, just maybe, we can assist in not allowing things get too far that we destroy it. Our intentions are honourable and we Love with every aspect of our being that God gave us. We going to make mistakes of course but we still choose to learn or to repeat them again. I just wonder how a person who loves another can look at that person in the eyes knowing their intentions were far from honourable… We all bitter from a experience that has happened in our lives, and we all have lived through an unfavourable experience, it’s more so now than ever. It’s something that either we put ourselves in or we didn’t see it coming, either way we have all been affected by some sort of heartache and heartbreak that made us bitter. It’s up to us to change that to find the strength to heal to work through it, harder than we think i know that, but it’s still a choice that could ultimately affect our lives and the people around us.

I’m just saying…

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