Psychedelic Circle in a Grey Square.

I was having a discussion with someone over the weekend and it dawned on me that the phrase Round Peg in Square Hole very much was my life.  I am without a doubt that Round Peg in a Square Hole of life and instead of fighting or arguing or being unhappy because of my non-conformance in society, it was rather easier to embrace it.  Instead of me seeing it as the Round Peg it would become my Psychedelic Circle in a Grey Square instead of Square Hole.

At the same time, I’m thinking how long does it take before my Psychedelic Circle begins to fade away and I end up getting caught among the Grey Squares?  Well then, I have to ask myself how long have I been this Psychedelic Circle and definitely my whole life.  So, the important realization now is to meet other Psychedelics and join together to enjoy the pathways of life we find ourselves on…

Not very easy because yes while I have met many Psychedelics, they are not very strong at heart, any little thing is taken personally and seeing this cruel world for what it is, is very hard to look through our eyes and see the wonders and the light of life and love of people.  I think I have proven I can do it, and always ask myself why?  What is the reason to constantly fight the fight in a world ruled by the Grey’s?  I guess my answer to that is having the way to look at life and say there is more, more adventures, more fun, more to experience, more to love and more to believe that there has to be more… because without it what is the point?

Everything in our life is surrounded by Grey’s, driving in our box cars, working and eating at our box desks, eating our boxed meals, living in boxed houses – yet the world is round, not boxed and definitely not flat.

I think Terry Pratchett had an amazing Psychedelic look at life and that’s why his books were funny and creative and always made the reader think more and want more of the Discworld and the Great A’Tuin.  Not to mention my fascination for Death and his horse Binky… deliciously morbid and fantastically hysterical that Death is a sympathetic Grim Reaper.

The sadness of all this… my greatest Psychedelic, who breathed fire into my soul and made every day that great adventure life has to offer, couldn’t and wouldn’t survive in the world of Grey’s.  That no matter how many Terry Pratchett books he read to get lost in the Discworld, no matter how he tried to fight that big fight, he could  no more and he just gave up.

The more i think about it, the more I realize it’s the Psychedelics that are deciding to exit life every day, the strain and stress of living in the Grey world has become harder and crueller and a the abundance of good hearts are diminishing at a rate of not worth fighting for anymore.

Just a morbid thought…



The Journey…

The Journey began feeling a little weary.

The cobble path we once walked, now bits and pieces

You reached out and took my hand

“will you run with me on the cobble path” you smile

“Yes” i smile and take your outstretched hand

Safe and Comfort i smile

The once fairy tale bridge we walked across so many times

All broken down and just rubble

You reached out to take my hand again

“will you jump across with me” you whisper

“Yes” i smile as i take his hand in mine

Confident and Warm

The end of our journey and the tears well up

The Majestic Mansion, our first date, our first moment

Dilapidated and wrecked into a haunting memory of what once was

You squeeze my hand tightly, you never let go

“will you have a picnic with me”  you look away, a tear down your cheek

“Yes” i whisper, my eyes misty


Our journey through love has been difficult, but if we just cross that broken path, or jump over the torn down bridge or take what was once a memory and turn it into a new adventure a new memory.  Then we can skip along to whatever lies in our way.

You are home…

I love you


A bookshelf is a treasure chest for the mind.

So, I decided enough was enough. Continuous staring and pondering whether to read it or not reached its limits I mean with such a bright turquoise blue cover, with bright bold letters, shouting the title at you, the decision to read or not to read had to be tackled. This book has been sitting on my book shelf for months now, in fact its possibly years now… As I have no idea when I purchased this book or where I purchased it. In fact, it’s safe to say I have no idea which city I was in at the time.

It made the short trip to Richard’s Bay and back at the beginning of this year, and scary enough, it’s possible it made the trip 5 years ago, when I moved from Cape Town back to Joburg. That’s how ridiculous this is that I haven’t even read the first page.

So, last night I removed it from the shelf still fully intact, no scratches or doggy ear bends and no scrap of paper or book mark falling out of where I last read to. No, this book was still shiny and new, as if I bought it yesterday. Its turquoise cover looking soft and more inviting, the 600+ pages that once intimidated me, I now felt the eagerness to get stuck in. I bend back the pages lightly so I can breathe in the ink pages… totally the girl who smells every piece of paper I touch, glossy magazines being my favourite.

Holding the book in both hands excited at the anticipation of the impact this book Will have on my life. But… where will I get time to read it? No no can’t let the tired excuse of having no time stop me now. In any case its pure torture staring at unread books, sitting on my shelf, my little OCD in my life.

It was time to tackle this hindrance in my life and start putting into action what the title screams from its cover and probably first page…

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson.

I’m dead serious!

I have absolutely no idea what attracted me to the book in the first place. I don’t do self helps, you’re the only one who knows you, how can a stranger who doesn’t know of your existence, help?

Then I thought back and wondered at what point in my life would I have bought this particular book, self-help on how to not stress about the little things in life.

Blank. Zip. Nada. Nothing.

Then I realise what difference does it make. Stress is part of our lives and on the increase. Ways to destress our lives are advertised and published in almost every magazine and daily on our radios and TVs. Physical activity, holidays, diet, glass of wine, etc. etc. etc. I always said show me how to not stress about things and I will gladly learn. So maybe this was it, all the little ways and guidelines, all compacted into this turquoise blue cover book, all there for me to learn.

Chapter 1 : Don’t sweat the small stuff…

I don’t know how long it will take and if I Will finish it. I guess I’m just glad I’m finally getting around to reading again.

My love for books forever.