Steampunk Love

I’m sitting watching the waves crash on the shore line, wind blowing the palm trees and I can see vessels carrying cargo in the distance.
It’s a stunning day at the coast and my mind is wondering away.  My thoughts and feelings mulling around in my mind as I soak in the peaceful scenery that surrounds me.

It dawned on me that the theory of love and life is definitely not one and the same, the question of being able to live without love and can it be done is just something I have always answered no to, but as I sit here at this beautiful guesthouse away from the madness of home and the city of chaos I realize yes it most certainly can be done.

We are most definitely the creators of our own dreams and navigators of our own adventures, why the heart has to play a role for us is crazy.  There are other things to love, love of life, love of our existence in this world that spins at a speed that if we don’t stop and start living our lives not only we don’t stop now to notice the what if’s , bucket lists and wishful thinking, then we may just reach that stage of regret and “if only I had” moments when it’s all too late.

Relationships are a hindrance in our progressive state of mind…

It’s taken me 40 years to see this.  40 years of heart ache and tears after each bad decision.  I always say there don’t seem to be any good guys left or ones that can just be on the same trail of adventure and mentality like I am…. In actual fact, there never will be.  I am changing at an alarming rate, so much so that when a new challenge comes my way I already know how it’s going to pan out and can already decide for myself if it’s worth going through.  Knowing the outcome, I would rather not pursue It and have now realized my inevitable search for love and the happily ever after is not within reach because that childhood dream is in the past and well past its sell by date.

No instead I am happy to live my life for myself, equipped with the tools and strength and know how of what I have learnt.  I could steampunk my way into any direction I choose and can only ask to meet other hopefuls just like me and build friendships and companionship that will ride along with me into the great unknown of life.   More now than ever I know it’s a definite possibility of endless stories to dream and even better stories to tell.



Be A Big Fish…

Big Fish

I recently watched the movie Big Fish with Ewan McGregor and Jessica Lange. A Tim Burton film and of course because it’s a Tim Burton film his wife Helena Bonham Carter also plays a role in this beautiful fantastical adventure of a movie. Up to now, and I could be wrong, but she has acted in every movie Tim Burton has ever directed, so while watching it the second I saw her I knew it was his movie… How’s that for dedication of a love story?

On that note Johnny Depp also plays in most of his movies too and the Godfather to their kids… A bit of trivia but totally in love with Johnny Depp and always been a fan of the eccentric Helena Bonham Carter.

Big Fish was such a wonderful story of love, adventure and, for me, perception of life seen through the eyes of a man with such an imaginative mind that after watching it the grass in my backyard looked just a little greener and the sky a little bluer.

It made me think that it’s not that we sometimes live with rose coloured glasses but rather it’s just better for our peace of mind. Reality is scary and if we expected to live in our actual reality I can’t honestly expect human kind to grow or create or innovate. We wouldn’t be able to move forward through life because we would be stuck knowing there isn’t a possible way forward with an outlook and future dreary.

Yes, it’s a stretch but after watching this movie you understand.

Ewan McGregor plays the main role and a storyteller of note, that when he falls ill near to death his son who married and with child on the way, questions his dad to tell him the truth of his life. The magnitude of his stories left doubt in his son’s mind and couldn’t accept that any of it was true. He felt embarrassed to hear the stories and thought everyone felt that way too, but couldn’t accept it was only him feeling that way. His insecurities too big to not accept the magical tales.

What actually happens is that every story he told was true he just added a bit of sparkles to, I Guess, make it more interesting to tell but it honestly was how this man saw life.

As he lived life and as he grew older those rose-tinted glasses faded and he began to see life for what it was. So instead of falling into that reality he changed it, renovated it and turned it into his rose-tinted world.

I do believe that he has the secret and it’s not the end of the world to embellish a dull story just a little. Or maybe changing our perspective and seeing and living our moments sprinkled with some sparkle then the story telling will be what it is as we lived and saw it through our sparkled eyes. There can be no room for lies but there could be a fine line of creating and living in a dream world, which could land us up in a mental institution.

It’s all about balance and keeping us motivated and happy to get through each day.

Doesn’t that sound like exactly what we need?

So why not live and enjoy your life with some added fairy dust.


Call me…

This piece has been in my drafts for a year now and decided to publish it, clearly at the time I was not playing well with others and wrote this.

Call me crazy, I will shake your hand and thank you…

Call me weird, I will invite you to a night of Clock Work Orange…

Call me dark or demented, I will let you visit my mind so you can see the demons play…

Call me a psychopath, I will greet you in Harley Quinn style “nice to meet ya”…

Call me twisted, I will invite you to ride the merry go round with me…

Call me whatever you want but I have been known to not react to being called Ice Queen, Heart of Stone, Fake, Heart Breaker, Liar, Unloyal, Heartless, Mentally Unstable, Trashy and a Tart. Oh, and I will introduce you to the people who made me this way.

The tears will dry and my heart will heal and for now I reserve the right to be one of the above at some point in my life when dealing with others. If you don’t like it or you feel I’m treating you in this manner, then you are obviously one of them and you’d better walk away.

Dealing with the devil and being played by the gamers can only show me how to play back and how to handle you. I have seen it all, heard all the lies and I decide when not to play.

There are the awesome others who have been through the same, hopefully not as many as me, lol. Your awesomeness will make you who you are and no one can take that from you.

Just be you, as I am being me…